How We Amazing, Smart Women Still Bully Ourselves

I feel both angry and sad about this-
Yesterday I met a really wonderful new neighbor out on a walk.
As we fell into step on the trail together, she said sheepishly-

“I’m trying to get myself to eat better,
but I have a really hard time controlling my cravings.
I get too hungry; I just need to have more discipline.”

Women of my heart.

How often has each of us said a version of these words?
Confusing cravings with hunger is all too common.
Trying NOT to have hunger is like trying NOT to take a breath.
Good luck with that.

This is a super intelligent, nutritionally aware, kick-ass woman!!
Yet she, like many smart women, still believes
that control and discipline
are the keys to the Happy Kingdom.
She believes that her hunger is bad, and needs to be controlled.

She believes this even though control and discipline have NEVER
worked for her for longer than a year.
(and it was one slog of a year, fighting hunger,
shooting for perfect.)
And even though she told me she’s always
gained that 30-ish pounds back
that she worked so damned hard to lose,
even though none of this made her happy,
She just joined WW.
Not with excitement.
With resignation.

My heart goes out to the countless women,
and I was one, who buy into this over-masculinized bullshit.
As if this is simply linear, knowledge-based stuff
that we should just add to the to-do list,
another damn thing to power through.

This insistence that all we’ve got to do is count something-
carbs, points, fats, calories, fasting hours.
Or do something-
exercise more, try the new rave diet, trick ourselves,
study more nutrition or toughen up.

In 23 years of coaching women in
relationship to eating and body, I have yet to work
with a single woman who had success doing it by forcing,
judging or shaming herself into submission.

Not. One.

If you care anything about yourself and your
deep well-being, stop bullying yourself.
Please stop believing this pervasive lie that
if you’re just strong enough,
or focused enough, you could do it that way.

Stop pushing.

Learn who YOU as the woman with
hunger and with cravings.
Find out what authentic fullness really means for YOU,
what it means in your body, not your brain.

Find a way that actually makes you feel more alive,
that your heart will sing with, that makes you into a
better version of the powerful beauty you already are.

If you want some support with this, you can schedule a Deep Clarity Session with me.
This is my work in the world and as such it’s a zero strings attached gift.


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