This morning I was hiking a trail in Oregon that hangs over an amazingly wild and scenic river. It’s beautiful this time of year, with swirling leaves everywhere made more intense with all the recent rains. I rounded a corner to see a guy in the act of dropping his trash on the ground from the food he was eating. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing!
That whole “not in my backyard” thing came surging up, except I’m clear that when I think about “my backyard”, I’m thinking of this as the collective backyard of the planet we’re all living on at the moment…getting smaller all the time.
So this morning, I’m feeling into what I’m going to do, while this man and I watch each other.
I decide on at least one thing. I decide not to trash him.
Him: I should…get this…
(Reaches down, picks it up, crumples it up and puts it in his pocket. No eye contact.)
Me: Thank you. I appreciate that.
This is just my story, but I had the distinct feeling we both walked away feeling decent. I know I did.
But here’s the thing………….so often, it’s a lot easier to cut someone else some slack than ourselves.
Why is it SO much easier to drop the judgment and just see what we can create when it’s about somebody else?!
And so, because I tend to consider everything through this lens of body image and the lovely enjoyment of food, it got me thinking about how we continually trash ourselves without even realizing it, how harsh we can be on ourselves.
I’ve find this needs to be a part of the work I do with almost every client. It’s as though we imagine that if we’re hard on ourselves, we’ll somehow “teach ourselves a lesson”, and shame ourselves into “behaving”.
Have you noticed how lousy this feels?
Have you noticed that it DOESN’T work?
And yet this shows up SO often in relationship to our bodies and how we feel about them. To be exact, 9 out of 10 women say they dislike or even hate their bodies.
Do you find yourself talking negatively to yourself, however subtly you might be doing it?
Maybe it’s as swift and subtle as saying to yourself something like,
“I have no business wearing this dress!”
“Who am I kidding? I look awful!”
You can shift this in an instant, again and again, for however many times it takes for you to unhook from this less-than-conscious habit, and re-train yourself for something that feels so much better.
Here’s all you need to do:
The moment you realize you’ve just talked trash to yourself –
Stand still. Take a deep breath. Then another one.
Feel some appreciation for the fact that you even have a body you can live in that gets you around. Flex something, move something, acknowledge the wonder of something in your body.
Feel what’s great about what you’ve got going for you right now, because this is exactly how you can have more of it.
Oh, I know, what about the voice that says, “I’ll do that as soon as I look like X”. THEN I’ll appreciate myself.
“Fraid not, because it actually works the OPPOSITE way.
Start living as that woman right now. No waiting until… Anything.
Do it now, and you’ll begin to create that body you want and the beautiful, easier relationship with food that you want.
This is the stuff I invite my clients to work with in a very committed intentional way, and it works every time. This is change from the inside out, and that’s the kind of change that sticks.
So ask yourself:
What are the things I keep saying, and how does it feel?
How do I WANT to feel?
Here’s to awakening your natural relationship with food, body and soul!