The first mentors who really rocked my reality 22 years ago are
Gay and Katie Hendricks. I am still practicing what I learned
in my years with them, and I’m grateful beyond words.
I consider them the leaders of the first generation, the
critical mass wave of conscious relationship work and
body centered self-awareness.
One day in the middle of a 10 day training,
Gay looked me in the eye in a room full of 35 of my colleagues and said,
“Argue for your limitations, Marina and sure enough, they’re all yours.”
Ouch. He knew that a scared part of me wanted to stay safe and comfortable
and not push my edges in my work, and he was inviting me to face this.
And he was right. I could keep my perceived safety, and the limitations
I put on myself that go along with this. I had a choice.
We each have choices with this.
Habits, sabotage, procrastination or limiting beliefs…it’s so good
for me to remind myself that I DO have choices.
When I’m scared, I tend to believe I’m stuck here,
because that’s exactly how it feels.
So, following that, no exploration of my relationship with food
could even begin without (cough) the investigation of my
(cough) relationship with myself.
Squirm…Suddenly cleaning out the litter box seems inviting by comparison.
Before The Squirm Moment I spent years trying very hard NOT to see
how I was limiting myself. Because then, what would that say about me?
More stories, and more stories I had about this….and
no doubt you have your own version of this, your own stories.
I was dysfunctional as hell with sugar consumption
and now finally, I’m not.
I’ve been able to sustain this for years now.
Not perfectly, and not overnight.
But with self-compassion, honesty and gentleness, it got easy.
I work with amazing woman after amazing woman who is frustrated
because she struggles to get into a simple, healthy, sustainable
relationship with her eating that feels wonderful on every level she cares about.
This often includes feeling really great in her body, trusting herself with food,
feeling freed from her old eating-related health complaints,
and really relaxing into the pleasures of eating.
So I ask these women Squirmy Questions…with kindness –
“Is this a limitation you want to keep?”
“If not, even if you can’t see how, how could you get more willing to let this shift?”
And this –
“What other way could you create a sense of safety and
comfort you want besides XYZ food?”
“Who’s your support for this, while you’re figuring it all out?”
I’m inviting her into a very kind honesty towards herself.
You can do this with yourself…also (and ONLY) with kindness.
You’ll have your own Squirmy Moments, yes, and that’s okay.
New ways are uncomfortable ways at first.
That’s how new works.
We can get more comfortable with discomfort.
The prize you’ll get is more of YOU.
Not the limited, old story YOU.
The courageous, self-reflective, inspired YOU.
And you are SO worth this!
Here’s to your deep health and happiness,