In a recent post I asked you if this would be your year, and gave you a good practice to help make this year all you want it to be… with your health, your body and your food. A lot of you said yes, absolutely it’s my year, and I hope you’re one of these people!
A few emails came in after that post, from women asking for more ideas on how to stay motivated and enthusiastic, so we’ll keep this theme going.
No matter how much good self-care may matter to you, you’ll still have those days…you know what I mean.
The days when you can’t remember WHY.
The days when those “good ideas” can’t compete with that donut in the conference room or your warm bed instead of a run in the rain.
Everybody has these days…
So what’s the difference between those of us who stay with their good ideas and those who don’t?
If you’re having trouble staying with whatever your intentions are for the New Year, this is another great way to stay connected with what you know you want.
One of the biggest reasons some people stick with their intentions much more easily is this:
They’re totally clear that they care more about what they want MOST than what they want NOW.
What this means is that for these people that warm bed, as compelling as it is, is NOT the thing they want the most. They want what the run will give them, even in the rain. It matters more to them, and they know it.
There’s something very interesting going on here.
We actually have access to just a little bit of what we call willpower every day.
So (for good reason as it turns out), it’s exhausting to that part of our brain that has to sort and respond to anything we think requires willpower.
So let’s make it easier on ourselves, how about…
First by getting VERY, VERY clear on what matters most, in a meaningful way for YOU, (not your mother or your spouse), you can start to give yourself the gift of not relying on this shaky thing called willpower in the first place. You can begin to automatically touch into what you care about most, so you can empower yourself instead of trying to count on willpower.
Here’s how:
Pick something you really care about right now in your life-how or what you’re eating, or how you’re talking to yourself about your body.
Let’s say you want to lose weight. There’s a reason far beyond “I want to lose weight.”
No one really cares about losing weight for it’s own sake; reasons abound behind everything we want.
At a minimum, one of your reasons is big.
Big enough to bring tears to your eyes. Perfect.
This is the reason you get to call forth when you want something else now.
I had a client who wanted so much to be able to get up and down off the floor comfortably and easily to play with her grandson the way he loved to play with her, whenever she wanted.
She found out that she wanted this more than her morning stop at the coffee shop, where she almost always had a cinnamon roll.
She made it easier on herself, both by staying connected to what she wanted most, and by letting go of this idea that she somehow needed to find more willpower.
Here’s my own example from yesterday. I’m in the middle of a cleanse, which I do several times a year; it’s a great way to allow your body to release the toxins that accumulate for all of us. This particular cleanse is all home made vegetable juices, and yesterday in late afternoon, I got REALLY HUNGRY. I started opening cupboards, just browsing, you know…
Before I knew it, this box of crackers had jumped into my hand. Has this ever happened to you?!
And I actually ate a couple of them, before I stopped and took a deep breath, and realized what I was doing. Like, REALLY realized. So I slowed everything WAY down, and asked these two parts of me to talk to each other. It happened really fast, in my head, like this:
What I want now: It’s okay, jeez, you’re hungry, and it’s only 2 crackers. Let it go!
What I want more: But I’m on this cleanse, remember?
What I want now: They taste SO good! Let’s have a few more. It will not matter in the scheme of things. They’re so small, and you’ve been doing a great job with the cleanse.
What I want more: You’re probably right, physically. But I will know; already it’s eroding a tiny piece of my self-trust, how I keep my word to myself. And, I want to do the best job I can with this cleanse, because I want to know my body is as resilient, strong, and capable as possible. And I want THIS more than crackers right now.
Closing the cupboard now…
Then there was a deep breath of forgiveness (very important!), so I could move on, and that was about it.
And it worked, because I had done the exercise I now invite you to do. I’d gotten clear about why this matters, and what I wanted more, ahead of the time I needed it. Based on the years of work I’ve done around this stuff, with myself and with clients, I know it has to be this way for strong, lasting success, so do it now, when you are strong and clear. Do it BEFORE you need it!
And just know that sometimes this takes a little time. I had to eat a few crackers first, and my client had to park her car in front of the coffee shop a time or two and see what that was like. Give yourself time.
And ask yourself the life-changing question,
“Where will I get the support I need?”
If you’re ready for some Real Life help with digging deep and discovering what it is YOU really want most, and then sticking with it, then it’s time for us to talk. It’ll cost you an hour. And it’ll change everything.
Love,
Marina