It’s been awhile since the last blog post…I’ve been a little busy being a rebel, which works really well for some things, but hasn’t worked so well for actually Getting Things Done. I learned that I needed a higher level of intentional structure in my life and business.
In the process of embracing this realization and taking powerful action I was surprised to discover that structure can be cool, and give me a lot more of what I wanted. I had no idea that I could feel freedom instead of wanting to run screaming from my desk, where A Schedule Now Lives.
I have a history of rebelling against schedules in one form or another for most of my adult life (another story), but creating a new structure is giving me freedom I never imagined. Thanks, Structure!
This happens a lot when smart, nutritionally aware women derail ourselves by not creating simple structures that support us in raising our own awareness of how we’re eating and cultivating deep personal and body acceptance…
…Which turns into body confidence and eating in ways that honor us. Which morphs into embracing living in a body we love…
Yes. Actual love WITHOUT any conditions. As corny or just flat-out impossible as this can feel at times, it works. In one sentence, here’s why you should care about loving your body right now, as it is:
We naturally take care of what we love.
If you have a child, a cat, a partner or a home you love, you already know exactly what this feels like. One of the first things I do when working with a new client is teach them some simple ways to both stretch and strengthen the muscles of self-love, self-honoring, and self-appreciation.
Just as we don’t wait until our kid does something brilliant or spectacular to actively love her, we also don’t wait until anything, to actively practice love for ourselves.
No conditions here. Especially with women, ego will never find perfection-there will always be reasons to hold back.
We naturally take care of what we love.
So we put simple structures in place throughout the day and the week to support and remind ourselves that we care, that we love ourselves with and through our self-honoring habits, just as I did with my new schedule.
What would this look like for you? You know yourself best.
Because I’m a rebel, I start with simple, light, flexible. Otherwise I’ll run screaming from the room…
Rome wasn’t built in a day…nor will your most sustainable and powerful structures be.
Your first structure is a first draft. You’ll relax better and have more fun.
When I created my new working schedule, it was intentionally sketchy and overly simple, so I could relax into it for a while, and then adjust according to what life wanted, what worked and what didn’t. It’s still sketchy because it’s so new, and I’ll probably still be tweaking a lot for a while.
I’m okay with this, because I want it to be a tool to help me grow. If I make a mistake, like yesterday when I zoned out on Facebook, even though I’d told myself that was for LATER, I can notice how I don’t feel as good when I’m not honoring myself. I can learn from this, use and quit making myself wrong, and I can choose love in the process, over and over again.
Somehow, (maybe because I’ve been at this awhile and have lovely women to work with all the time on their own versions of this), it’s been a lot easier for me with food and body, although it wasn’t always this way.
Here are some examples of things/ways my clients and I have built first draft structures around eating and body compassion:
*A refined structure is a morning practice of gratitude, meditation, conscious breathing and a little yoga stretching and an hour walk on a nearby trail. 90 minutes total.
A first draft of this was a ten-minute meditation. Once in awhile. On good days. Same with the walk.
*A refined structure is having a green drink for breakfast every day. I love them, they make me feel nutritionally happy and satisfied, and I get between 2-4 servings of vegetables right away. There is sometimes a tiny bit of low glycemic fruit, no other sweetener.
A first draft of this about 7 years ago was buying the great blender and having fun, just playing, creating, and having a green drink with a lot of fruit maybe twice a week. I couldn’t face kale at 7 a.m. yet, I wasn’t ready. No problem! Choose love.
*A refined structure is eating meals in a time range that feels good and works for your life, rather than let busyness or huge hunger or convenience dictate when meals happen.
For me, my high priority is that breakfast happens by 9, lunch by 1:30, dinner by 7:00. Because I’m clear about this for myself, it happens most of the time the way I want it to.
A first draft of this was eating dinner a lot later because my partner often arrives home much later than I like to eat my last meal of the day. When I got clear about what honoring myself needed to be like with this, we both happily began to check in with each other about our evening meals without assuming or needing things to follow a pattern. Now, we both experience this as much more freeing.
A current client doesn’t like big meals in the evening and her partner and young son love them. Creating her structure, she had a lot of self-judgment, “I’m a stay at home mom, I’m so lucky, I should want to accommodate them.”
It was a challenge, and eventually her family got used to her habit of putting several simple things on the table each evening for all of them to choose from.
She began to honor her choice of eating minimally when her hunger was low at this time of day, and she ate a substantial late lunch every day when she was truly hungry. She was in her words, eating in a way that was authentically her own.
These are all simple things, yes, but becoming aware of and creating our particular versions of them is a power move of great magnitude!
Structure Equals Freedom
So, the question really is:
Can you create a structure or two AND STAY IN IT LONG ENOUGH TO SEE WHAT IT WANTS TO TEACH YOU?
Keep drafting…
See how you can make structure equal freedom for you.
XO,
Marina